Just a quick update this week. Mostly because the end of the week got away on me. I made some good macarons. Then I made some bad ones. I met another wonderful food person. I made a birthday CAKE. Finally. I think I have accepted that I cannot drink alcohol anymore. And I started reading again.
On Monday I made some fabulous mint and chocolate macarons. First try. I had been intimidated for years and just never had the courage to try them. I was in a good mood so I threw caution to the wind and prepared myself for the first in a string of inevitable not-quites. I was very organised and used a recipe from a book I trust. (This one from Christophe Felder). The first sheet were underbaked slightly. The second sheet were perfect. Proud as punch. Later in the week I was experimenting with left-over freeze-dried strawberry powder. And I made some awful ones. I learned some good lessons. I understand more about why the first ones worked. Freeze dried fruit absorbs liquid. And too much strawberry is gross.
On Thursday I caught up with Kate from Tomboy. A cake bakery and cafe of sorts in Mt Vic. It was interesting hearing about how her business has been evolving over time and what she likes about it. Kate has an amazing sunny energy that is infectious! I am exploring ideas around teaching classes as well as moving towards adding more of my personal interests to blog content like my love of preserves.
I finally got to a friend who let me make a cake for his birthday! I spent Friday making a Strawberries + Cream Velvet Cake for one of my oldest friends. This was the successful venture that started the aforementioned strawberry experiments. We hung out and had pasta and cake and watched birthday themed horror films. I will bring the recipe for the cake to you sometime soon. It’s so good.
I had a couple of drinks on Friday. Two. And it wrecked me. A few years ago when I first had major trouble with my anxiety I all but stopped drinking completely. Alcohol and my brain chemistry are not on good terms. I would feel fine at the time and then as it worked through my system I would feel sluggish and depressed. I couldn’t sleep. In the years since I have a drink from time to time. Sometimes I’m fine. Sometimes I’m not. Given that it’s a 50/50 gamble at best the grown-up thing to do is to accept that I just shouldn’t. It’s hard though. I feel cheated out of something. I’ll get there.
One of the things I found very hard when my anxiety was at it’s worst was reading. Focussing attention on a single task is difficult when your brain is constantly pulling you in different directions. Unless a book was extremely engaging I could never stay focussed for very long. I used to read a lot and really missed it. I have been trying to make time for reading again and I love it. I haven’t been aiming super high literarily just yet but it’s nice to be able to enjoy a story. Especially while lazing around feeling sorry for yourself.
Have a wonderful week. Look after each other.